By popular demand:
1) Heard about some exclusive language from your friends.
2) Buy the box (erm, need the Pro version, need to shell out around US$900 (US$870 + S&H) (or more depending on where you live). Wait few days later for the postman to arrive.
3) Start looking around the Help., erm... what help? The help topics are full of VB.NET and C# entries!
4) Convince yourself that spending hours upon hours with Delphi is better than spending with you girlfriend.
5) Put the menu bar and components on the dialog, erm, form. Eee. The Menu, Toolbar don't look so good and the grid looks out-dated!
6) Then realize that your app don't support Unicode well and need to get some Unicode-compatible libraries!
7) Put some edit controls there, but then you realize they don't handle validation so well. Need to get some good looking edit controls!
8) The out-dated grid has various bugs and errors. Need to find some good looking library to replace the grid!
9) Looked around for grid control, found one, erm, it costs US$300 for the grid! so expensive!. (I'll skip buying that gift to my girlfriend so I can finish that Delphi app)
10) Looked around for unicode control, erm, it costs US$49 for the library, so expensive.
(I'll skip some lunch so I can get these libs to finish the Delphi app).
11) The DbExpress is broken and my data can't get into Delphi. I can't connect well from Oracle or MSSQL! Need to find some Delphi library to connect to Oracle or MSSQL!
12) Indy is so chock full of bugs I can't even do something correctly! It keeps crashing all the time and my app looks stupid hanging! I need to get some delphi library so it works
(I'll skip buying that DVD player so I can shell out some bucks to buy some cool Internet library).
13) IntraWeb is only 5-user version! I need to get the full version of IntraWeb. I'll shell out my bonus money and overtime money so I can get this cool library. Then I need to buy some more libraries so I can get all the features I need to make that lousy website that nobody can use because nobody can use the back-button and and tolerate that 1990 look-and-feel.
14) Found out I had to find very expensive web-host to host my IntraWeb app! I had to give-up that cable subscription so I can pay for web-hosting fees.
15) PDF was big pain. The PDF didn't work so well, I had to shell out even more money for some PDF library. It came with subscription so I had to pay up every year!
16) Repeat 1..15 for every person I hire, or employ! This gets really, really expensive!
17) Never use anything that is ActiveX in it, or VB-compatible. Shell out hundreds of dollars on anything that is Delphi-only.
18) Promise everyone that you'll port it to Linux but won't, since Kylix is not so full of bugs and supports an outdated Linux version.
19) Delphi Job? what job? we don't use any Delphi here?
20) Get angry will all the bills you can't pay, then bitch and moan about Delphi problems. The newsgroups calls you troll and trouble-maker, then kick you out.
21) Wake-up from this Delphi delusion and realize you're not going anywhere with your career, job or getting that big salary everyone else gets.
1) Heard about some exclusive language from your friends.
2) Buy the box (erm, need the Pro version, need to shell out around US$900 (US$870 + S&H) (or more depending on where you live). Wait few days later for the postman to arrive.
3) Start looking around the Help., erm... what help? The help topics are full of VB.NET and C# entries!
4) Convince yourself that spending hours upon hours with Delphi is better than spending with you girlfriend.
5) Put the menu bar and components on the dialog, erm, form. Eee. The Menu, Toolbar don't look so good and the grid looks out-dated!
6) Then realize that your app don't support Unicode well and need to get some Unicode-compatible libraries!
7) Put some edit controls there, but then you realize they don't handle validation so well. Need to get some good looking edit controls!
8) The out-dated grid has various bugs and errors. Need to find some good looking library to replace the grid!
9) Looked around for grid control, found one, erm, it costs US$300 for the grid! so expensive!. (I'll skip buying that gift to my girlfriend so I can finish that Delphi app)
10) Looked around for unicode control, erm, it costs US$49 for the library, so expensive.
(I'll skip some lunch so I can get these libs to finish the Delphi app).
11) The DbExpress is broken and my data can't get into Delphi. I can't connect well from Oracle or MSSQL! Need to find some Delphi library to connect to Oracle or MSSQL!
12) Indy is so chock full of bugs I can't even do something correctly! It keeps crashing all the time and my app looks stupid hanging! I need to get some delphi library so it works
(I'll skip buying that DVD player so I can shell out some bucks to buy some cool Internet library).
13) IntraWeb is only 5-user version! I need to get the full version of IntraWeb. I'll shell out my bonus money and overtime money so I can get this cool library. Then I need to buy some more libraries so I can get all the features I need to make that lousy website that nobody can use because nobody can use the back-button and and tolerate that 1990 look-and-feel.
14) Found out I had to find very expensive web-host to host my IntraWeb app! I had to give-up that cable subscription so I can pay for web-hosting fees.
15) PDF was big pain. The PDF didn't work so well, I had to shell out even more money for some PDF library. It came with subscription so I had to pay up every year!
16) Repeat 1..15 for every person I hire, or employ! This gets really, really expensive!
17) Never use anything that is ActiveX in it, or VB-compatible. Shell out hundreds of dollars on anything that is Delphi-only.
18) Promise everyone that you'll port it to Linux but won't, since Kylix is not so full of bugs and supports an outdated Linux version.
19) Delphi Job? what job? we don't use any Delphi here?
20) Get angry will all the bills you can't pay, then bitch and moan about Delphi problems. The newsgroups calls you troll and trouble-maker, then kick you out.
21) Wake-up from this Delphi delusion and realize you're not going anywhere with your career, job or getting that big salary everyone else gets.
4 comments:
You too funny! I still have Delphi 4 installed on my computer, though it's great for producing applications with 90's look!
delphi is most great compiler ever
Hi from Turkey .
First of all i read all and i agree many of them .
But , i love delphi and really it s great. Now 2014... Do you think same after XE5 ?
Hello Turkey,
just us chickens left around.....
Well.... it supports unicode now
(not that it made any difference to me other than having to convert a whole bunch of src for no additional benefit)
The cost has more than doubled (you NEED enterprise now to do anything serious)
The have asborbed anydac->firedac so the db handling is sort of taken care of (so long as you have enterprise or pay extra for it)
The Delphi job market has got way worse and the rates (if you find a job)are 75% or less of a regular programming job. Senior Delphi jobs pay intermediate-> junior rates that you get with C# , java , VB to name a few.
Things were definitely better in 2008 (for Delphi). I was earning wads of cash then.Now close to Zero. Fortunately Delphi is not the only one so that is no longer my problem.
I just got an enquiry for some Delphi maintenance work this weekend. So i quoted my rate discounted back to 2009 prices, and will be surprised if i hear anything back because even that 5 year old rate is now considered too much for Delphi work,.
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