Sunday, August 8, 2010

Secret of Delphi Island

(Satire)

Your reviewer was doing some looking up some of the biographies (or bio for short) of people on those not-so-legal forums.

Your reviewer found three Delphi sites where their owners went to work dressed as a pirate, took photos of themselves in the office as a pirate, and believe-it-or-not, posted it on their flickr or linked to their blog.

Then, they went and do their business of uploading file upon file on those not-so legal forums.







What does that remind you of?
Either it's talk like a pirate day (website), dress like a pirate day, or this whole Delphi thing is starting to feel like you're in "Secret of Monkey Delphi Island"

There's person called Largo which sounds uncannily similar to Embarcadero whose objective seems to milk Delphi developers of their hard earned money








There's even TeamB circus where, with answering many newsgroup questions, you can become one of them, too.


The game reflects real-life Delphi development. The game has people who sell documentation (a much needed asset in the Delphi community)













The game even sells GamePlayer's magazine, which sounds eerily similar to the Delphi Magazine.









There's even a troll who operates a troll-booth. Feels like the third-party vendors who need payment before providing the products.

 












There are plenty of "Men of Low Moral Fiber" in the Delphi community.















There is also chance to form a development team.

Like real-life Delphi developers, they expect you to pay lots and lots of money to do almost nothing and relax and enjoy while you do all the work...














Monkey Island has a fighting system called "Insult sword-fighting". This sounds eerily similar to the long-winded insult postings in the Embarcadero newsgroups.

Maybe someone was playing real-world "Monkey Island" and testing their insult sword-fighting skills on the Embarcardero forums?















There is also opportunity to buy used Boats. That sounds like buying copies of Delphi. The price sounds right - around 4,000 pieces of Gold or approx 4,000 Euros.

I wonder how much are the commissions Mr. Stan. made for selling one boat... err... one copy of Delphi?




























Mr. Herman Toothrot would find it very comforting there is a dentist in the Embarcadero newsgroups...

Where about the Help Files for the game Monkey Island? There are none - You have to figure it all out yourself. Does that sound similar to real-life Delphi development?


The game-play in the "Secret of Monkey Island" feels like real-life Delphi software development. This blog posting is a humorous and satirical look on Delphi software development.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Humour: Delphi "Love"

Your reviewer was looking at several Delphi not-so-legal sites and really amused at them. I won't give any names, but it gives some ideas what to look for.

The first three are in Arabic and Persian language, from Egypt, Saudi and Iran respectively. It was really hard for your reviewer to browse the site, except using Google Translate (Arabic to English, Persian to English). The next three in Czech, Romanian and Spanish. Everyone probably knows the Czech site very well. There are two Russian site that are dedicated for this (Russian to English).

If you browse around these sites... You'll get 101 links to RapidShare, HotFiles and so on to download these things not-so-legally.

I love you... until you have no job and no money
Every now and then, these URLs to Rapidshare will go bad or stale. Why does this happen? The owners of TMS, DevExpress and Components4Developers are busy sending emails requesting those sites to delete illegal uploads to those sites.

The next obvious thing happens - these Delphi lovers re-upload the files to those file-sharing sites again and again and again and again and again ....

Here are some interesting suggestions for the Component vendors:
1) Some of the harder-to-reach URLs require some reputation, like 50 thanks, 100 thanks. Upload some other component to that site and protect it... and within 8 hours, you will get more than 100 thanks and be able to view these hard-to-reach URLs.

2) Buy the MaxMind GeoIP or IP location site and protect your downloads using it. If your user specify he is from America but the download IP from Russia, shut down the account.

3) Automate the routine. Use the same build utility (e.g., either Final Builder or AutomatedQA) to automate sending emails to these file-sharing sites to remove these links.

4) Consider better background checks of your customers.

The people who really love Delphi, do things such as spreading the "Component Love", spreading "free copies of Delphi", spreading all the serial numbers, cracks and so on...


They are going to cause Delphi sales to drop, Delphi-component sales to drop... When component vendors sees little or no sales, month after month, they will start to stop development and probably close shop.




Look at DevExpress. Their WinForms and WebForms NET components are 10 or 20 times more advanced than the Delphi components. Look at other Delphi component vendors. If they cannot sustain the business, they will close down and put their components on SourceForge.

It affects other Delphi developers indirectly. These Delphi developers are waiting for the next raise, better pay... they probably are sweating and working really hard to make things work... or out of job and out of money.

Thank You
Your reviewer says "thank you" to Delphi lovers for causing Delphi job losses, business failure, loss of revenue and causing Delphi developers to remain jobless.

Keep up the Delphi Lover cheers and warmth!

:)

Job Searching: Delphi Job not found.

Your reviewer found some newsgroup gems:

Disturbing Trend:
"I've been searching for a new gig for several weeks now and have interviewed with several companies. Every company I've interviewed with has intentions of moving away from Delphi. This is a very disturbing trend.

When I ask why, invariably the perception is that Delphi is old and out dated. A company today told me that it was going to C# because "upgrading its Delphi 5 app to a later version would be too much trouble". It is willing to rewrite its software in another language rather than upgrade!

How do we change this perception?"


Lajos writes: 
I don't think so. At the moment in the USA I'm afraid it's more hard to find any Delphi job. I'm looking for 4 month without any luck.

In some job postings there is a Delphi as a language they need a developer with a Delphi skill enough just to make some changes. But most of time Delphi is just a legacy product they did and moved to C#.

Mr David writes:
What makes you think the perception is wrong?

If you look at history for this past decade, the Borland (Delphi/C++ Builder VCL products) have lagged behind their major competitor, Microsoft, by months, often years.

They 'owned' the C++ market prior to C++ Builder, but then gave away compatibility (and the ability to write drivers, etc.) when they made the VCL switch to C++ Builder. They still haven't made it possible use C++ Builder stuff in Delphi, which means that there C++ product is essentially a 'stub' product.

The whole 'Delphi.NET' stuff showed how impossible it was going to be to keep pace with MS, especially on their own turf. It finally became obvious even to Borland, and they terminated it.

The fact that they are so far behind on the 64-bit curve shows that they are continuing that trend, and the fact that documentation is still so poor (let alone in comparison to the MS offerings) means that there is no way to get new folks reasonably involved in the product.

If I were a software manager, looking at a completely subjective breakdown of doing a re-write of the software (for any of several ancillary reasons, such as new features of the operating systems, larger memory needs, new GUI features, etc.), then the evaluation of doing a re-write in C# vs. doing an upgrade/add-on in Delphi, looking at who I think will be keeping up with technology for the NEXT decade, the record of reliability/support for the product, etc., I'd be hard-pressed to argue that a company should stay with Delphi.

Embarcadero really hasn't done much to fix this, either, and I do understand that they're living with the baggage that Borland left behind, but that is part of what they bought when they bought the product line.

Here's one aspect of how things could have been 'better' over the years:

 -- I don't know how much "catch-up" they can do from this point, but hopefully you'll get the drift.

1. Embarcadero should be their own third-party vendor (at least for many things). Folks argue that they can't possibly lower the price of the product, they need the revenue stream. I would argue that I spend as much, or more, on third-party tools as I do on the basic product itself. With the loss of TurboPower, for example, there was a market for (at least maintaining/updating) that type of product line. I have/use the TMS line of products, but the documentation is HORRID (arguably worse than Delphi, which is saying something). I use madExcept, some scheduling tools, charting tools, etc. If Embarcadero LOWERED the price of the main tool, and charged for some 'additional modules' (i.e., third-party add-ons), that would be a significant revenue  stream.


2. Documentation. This means getting some books out, or re-issuing some of the old ones (buy the @^!*# rights from some of the authors, for heavens' sake, and re-issue them as free PDF files, if nothing else). Get the help system working, even if it means doing one from scratch. Get the samples updated/working, etc. Do  a WHOLE LOT of white papers,  'how to' guides, upgrading guides, etc.


3. Do better with the quality assurance/beta tests. Lots of ways this can be handled, but the current methods simply aren't working very well. Just look at how poorly the 'update' functions work in your OWN PRODUCT -- you can't even tell if product is current, you often have to manually download updates,  installation procedures fail, etc.

4. Get rid of the 'product activation' crap, and go back to the simpler methods of licensing. I'm not going to re-argue the whole activation/licensing thing right now, but I am absolutely convinced that this stuff provides no real benefit overall for most software. I, and most folks I know, will actively shy away from using products that require this, or finding methods to subvert it. It just creates problems for the 'honest' user, and doesn't really discourage the dishonest ones for more than five minutes. That's my short list...



:)

Core Values: 64-bit "Love"

Your reviewer was looking at yet-another-64-bit-thread on Embarcadero's newsgroups and found one particular vendor could not scale beyond 4 gigs.

NewsLeecher, written by Mr. Simon Horup has a serious problem none of his competitors face, his product cannot scale beyond 4 gigs as his product uses all 4 gigs of memory. Mr Simon Horup says:

"I'm having similar problems with the news reader ( NewsLeecher ) I'm developing, using Delphi.
Furthermore, a 64 bit release of our news reader, is one of the most  requested features we get. Literally every single day, users ask us why we haven't made a 64 bit release available yet, referring to our main binary
news reader competitors, who have all released 64 bit versions year(s) ago. And all I can tell them, is that I have no idea whatsoever, when I will be able to provide them what they want in that regards. Something I find really frustating and unprofessional."

Just imagine how you would be in Mr. Simon Horup situation. Everyday, literally someone is asking for a 64-bit version of their product and he cannot deliver such product. That means lost sales, lost time and need to port to either MFC or C# or Java... (either way, at least C# and Java can scale)

In the weeks, months to come... Mr. Simon Horup will probably lose all his customers... because his product cannot utilize the millions of posts on those usenet forums.

Everyone is starting to ask for a 64-bit executables. If Embarcadero cannot deliver an x64 compiler soon... there will be no money coming in to pay for the bills, the wages/salary for the developers, might as well get another job or learn another language...

VB.NET, C#, WinForms, WebForms, MFC C++, QT C++ compiles in less than one second, works with 64-bits and is here today...

:)

Core Values: Threading Problems

Your reviewer found an unpopular posting by synopse (you can read it and jump back to this site) and read about how slow Delphi applications are.

Your reviewer brought an Intel Core i7 - 980, 16gigs RAM, Intel SSD HDD and x64 Windows 2008 as personal workstation because your reviewer could not tolerate slow Visual C++ compiles, somewhat slow speeds for C# compiles...

Pride comes before the fall...
Everyone in the whole world thinks C#.NET applications smells stinky and since it's written in NET - these applications are slow and consume valuable memory...

Here comes applications built with Delphi showing-off the supposedly fast memory manager (FastMM), new, improved speeds and supposedly faster maths...

The reality is:
- Delphi multi-threaded applications utilize just one core. if you have a Delphi app, all cores just freeze and your Delphi app runs like as it was sitting on a single core. Even if you have 2 or 3 cores... or 4 or 6 or maybe 16 cores... your Delphi app runs like as it was sitting on a single core.

- The maths is based on i486 with some FastCode MMX assembly in the RTL.

- There are serious threading issues
Quoted:
  1. Default memory manager, i.e. FastMM4, uses a LOCKed asm instruction for every memory allocation or dis-allocation. 
  2. string types and dynamic arrays just use the same LOCKed asm instruction everywhere, i.e. for every access which may lead into a write to the string.

Delphi for scalable apps? Don't bet your career on it...

Delphi apps that could possibly scale and provide better performance and speed are "not there yet" while Visual C++, Java and NET applications are "there". Since Delphi apps cannot "perform" and "scale", the race is over before it has started.

To fix these issues, you need to fix issues with the Delphi Compiler and provide better multi-threading support...Of course, only Embarcadero can do this...

But wait -
Embarcadero is probably preparing for Delphi 2011 launch (ref: www.delphi.org - "It isn’t a hard and fast rule, but generally speaking CodeRage is pretty close to the release of the new version of Delphi, not that anyone will be surprised by that time frame.")

Let's hope these multithreading issues are fixed in Delphi 2011... or maybe in Delphi 2012 or ... Delphi 2015 or ...

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Humour: Amnesty for Delphi Developers

Your reviewer thinks Embarcadero is going to start many legal lawsuits and truely milk the Delphi-cash cow.

How will Embarcadero do so? 
The first legal lawsuit was against a bozo Delphi developer living in South America. That bozo person uploaded the files, posted the download information to certain warez forums and said "Please turn off Internet Access to Delphi 2010 and install it inside a Virtual Machine", so Delphi will not call home. Unfortunately, most of the idiots on certain warez forum are deaf, dumb, lazy and stupid - so they installed it on multiple computers, all over the world. Eventually, Embarcadero traced down that bozo Delphi developer and sued his employer, but his employer blamed that bozo Delphi developer for doing this and was not responsible for it.

Your reviewer got some private information from certain lawyers and estimates the cost of settling such lawsuit is about US$25,000 per user (ignore older prices - this US$25,000 settlement figure is more accurate). If you have 5 Delphi developers, that will be US$125,000 in fines. If you have 10 Delphi developers, make sure all of them are properly licensed and good luck you do not get your business shut-down :).

(That's also good for the Delphi jobs market. Got another software developer using Delphi? Not enough licenses? -- too bad, no job)



Forensic Analysis
The following statements are subject to peer-review, but I did check it for D2007, D2009, D2010 -

Your reviewer did some forensic analysis into Delphi. Starting from Delphi 2007, Delphi installs certain files which will collect forensic information and send it to Borland's, (formerly called CodeGear, now called Embarcadero) servers on regular basis.

Ever since your reviewer posted his white-hat analysis to aid Embarcadero some time ago, Delphi 2009, Delphi 2010 collects more information than previously and used low-level WinSock (which will not trigger off Windows Firewall) and send it off over the Internet.

How will this information aid Embarcadero?
Most of the IP addresses in the whole world can be traced to a certain ISP, a certain user, a certain company who is illegally using Delphi and all Embarcadero has to do is match IP addresses to Delphi calling home for long periods of time.

If that person is licensed and fully paid-up, no problem, Embarcadero closes one eye on him. If that person is... not licensed, abuses his serial number, or do funny things... and living in an European, Australian, or USA, or some modern day country where the legal system is not very transparent - good luck to those people.

How will they get there?The first place to look at is built with Delphi list, if any bozo company dares to advertise they are using Delphi or provide services for Delphi - that company better get their act together and start getting legal before they get nasty lawsuits. The next place is to get backup from certain warez forums. Your reviewer found some forum are selling such information (yes, believe it or not).

The next funny thing is those forums are fake, so you can imagine a bait-car situation. You know, you see the thief stealing the car and then the car gets shut down. In this case, the forum would have all the IP address information which will then be shared with Embarcadero and the people with highest thanks will be prime targets.

Your reviewer noticed it that many "highly-respected" members suspected this and started to withdraw their participation. That leaves the stupid Delphi developers who do not know any better and few months later (from now), the Feds will start to move in and stop the whole thing It will be mass-orgy, mass master-baiting and fun, real fun. :)

How many software pirates are there?
Your reviewer did some estimating. Your reviewer thinks there are 50,000 Delphi software pirates. This is counting the "thanks", "uploaders" and other analysis over several forums.

50,000 Delphi software pirates translates to approx US$750,000,000 in new sales for Embarcadero -- that would probably give Embarcadero enough money to finance a new Delphi x64 compiler everyone is waiting for...

Your reviewer looked at the last quarter results from Embarcadero - while Embarcadero is not a public company, your reviewer looked at how sickly and pathetic Delphi sales are. Either way, if there's going to be an amnesty now, your reviewer thinks, Embarcadero will start going after their customer base and get more sales.


Delphi, the new virtual prison
I think everyone knows in order to develop in Delphi, or do any business in Delphi, you need to have licensed products. Your reviewer was paying heavily, heavily to make sure all of these are licensed and proper... except some stupid people who think they can save money.

It becomes a prison of sorts - if you cannot pay your bills, you cannot pay this, and all the money goes to pay for 3rd party (or maybe 4th party), Delphi, and this Delphi (thing) and that Delphi (thing)...


United Nations of Installed Dephi Products (or uninstall Delphi)
 That gives some people good reason to do the right thing -
1) Get the boss that if Delphi is not making enough sales or Delphi business is very bad.
2) Tell the Delphi developers to switch to C#, VB.NET or Java or PHP or Ruby...
3) Uninstall Delphi.
4) If the Delphi developers, after some time, cannot adapt and move to C# or VB.NET or Java or other languages, just tell them their services are not needed anymore.

You can look at the jobs forums where several people posts on the Embarcadero.jobs or other job sites that - their company is moving from Delphi to C#, or Delphi to Java, etc. and they no longer need Delphi Developers anymore.

Your reviewer is waiting for few more weeks more, and waiting for the fun to start...

:)

The link is here:
http://www.embarcadero.com/get-legal

So you know what to do before it's too late. Salvation or Redemption or Damnation...